Online Connections
by songstobesung
Summary: You on Facebook? The Glee Kids are. Hilarity ensues.
1. Welcome to Facebook!

**Kurt Hummel** Well, most people normally quote sappy songs (coughcough**Rachel Berry**) but I insist we stop quoting over used movies now. Yes, you know who you are.

(**Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez **and** 12 **friends like this)

**Rachel Berry:** FINN!

**Mercedes Jones: **KURT!

**Rachel Berry: **Cedes, we need new boy toys.

**Mercedes Jones: **Yes, we do.

**Kurt Hummel: **Boo, don't leave me! I love you Cedes.

**Finn Hudson: **Rachel, please don't go:'{

**Rachel Berry: **..fine…

**Santana Lopez: **well, we know who wears the pants in this relationship.

(**Kurt Hummel, Puck **and **54** friends like this)

**Santana Lopez: **Kurt just got more friends because I'm the HBIC. Yeah, I'm fucking awesome.

**Kurt Hummel: **Put that as your own damn status.

* * *

**Brittany S. Pierce **Damn AP calculus homework is hard:/

**Will Schuster: **Brittany, why are you doing AP calc?

**Artie Abrams: **Math comes to her easily. I suck at it. I know, kinda weird, eh?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **And the homework I'm doing is next month's homework!

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang** Ha, Principal Figgins saw me today, and he ran away screaming for garlic. The look on my parents face was priceless. :)

(**Puck, Quinn Fabray **and **16** friends like this)

* * *

**Mercedes Jones **and **Kurt Hummel **are married.

(**Brittany S. Pierce **likes this)

**Mercedes Jones: **Our wedding will take place in Glee tomorrow.

**Puck: **Who'll be the one wearing white?

**Mercedes Jones: **Me, white boi!

**Kurt Hummel: **Boi?

**Puck: **I'm more ghetto than you, Mercy.

**Mercedes Jones: **Eff you.

* * *

**Blaine Criss** and **Kurt Hummel** are now friends.

* * *

**Will Shuster **posted a video.

(**Mercedes Jones, Kurt Hummel **and **11 **friends like this)

**Puck:** Kurt, Mercy, I think that was too fucking funny.

**Quinn Fabray: **Language, Puckerman!

**Sam Evans: **"I'm gonna make you my wife, because you're my everything."

(**Quinn Fabray **likes this)

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh, and you're welcome Sam;)

**Sam Evans: **Hummel, text now!

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **thanks for filling me in **Mercedes Jones**

(**Mercedes Jones** likes this)

**Sam Evans: **Dislikes!

**Kurt Hummel: **Who asked you, Lemon Head;)

(**Santana Lopez **likes this)

* * *

**Sam Evans** my friends are meanie heads:(

**Santana Lopez: **Meanie heads?

**Finn Hudson: **Dude, we aren't in kindergarten.

**Kurt Hummel: **Says the man who asked me why we don't eat glue yesterday.

(**Brittany S. Pierce **likes this)

* * *

**Finn Hudson** agrees with **Sam Evans**. Our friends are meanie heads.

* * *

**Rachel Berry **and **Finn Hudson** are single.

(**Blaine Criss **and** Kurt Hummel **like this)

**Finn Hudson: **;)

**Santana Lopez: **What up with the wanky wanky face?

**Blaine Criss:** Nothing.

**Santana Lopez: **And who the hell are you?

* * *

**Finn Hudson **and **Kurt Hummel **are in a relationship and it's complicated.

* * *

**Rachel Berry **and **Blaine Criss** are in a relationship and it's complicated.

* * *

**Will Shuster** posted a video.

(**Tina Cohen-Chang, Santana Lopez** and **119** friends like this.)

**Blaine Criss: **Best. Song. Ever.

**Puck: **I think all of us were laughing too hard to actually understand everything.

**Quinn Fabray: **I think the best part was when Kurt kissed Blaine and Rachel jerked Blaine away.

**Santana Lopez: **I think the best part was when Kurt nearly yelled at Finn for not grinding him.

(**Rachel Berry** likes this)

**Kurt Hummel: **Upbeat version of Word of Your Body is the best thing ever.

* * *

**Rachel Berry** loves all of the Glee Club and their boyfriends;)

(**Finn Hudson** likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **Who doesn't love me?

**Puck: **Who doesn't love me?

**Quinn Fabray: **ME! To you, Puck.

**Sam Evans: **Love you Quinn:)

**Quinn Fabray: **Love you to, Lemon Head.

* * *

**Sam Evans** remind me to kill Kurt for dubbing me Lemon Head.

**Mike Chang: **At least you aren't other Asian.

* * *

**Just a little Facebooking;) This was done when I should have been working on a paper ue in a few weeks, but, eh, I can finish it sometime else! Anyways, like? If you people want, I can do this as a story, a little overview of what goes on in little Glee world. This has nothing to do with the show, sometimes (see: Sam and Quinn flirting, what not). Pairing will probably stay the same, but what did you think? Review, seriously! Like, for reals.**

**-Madi**


	2. Mellencamp, Sectionals, and Couple Names

**Blaine Criss** to **Kurt Hummel:** What is this Mellencamp phase you went through that Britt decided to message me about, and warn that you were a 'super hot totally not gay guy whose hands were baby soft'? If this is accurate, I need to see proof of this right here!

**Kurt Hummel: **NO! I will never show you this! I am now burning my memory of the horrible fashion crimes I committed. *screams in terror*

**Santana Lopez: **I HAVE PROOF! Kurt, I'm putting it up on soon. You have been warned.

**Kurt Hummel: ***bitch slaps Santana*

**Kurt Hummel**: *screams in frustration*

**Finn Hudson:** He just threw his textbook across the room. This is epic, man, totally epic.

**Kurt Hummel: **YOU AREN'T HELPING FINN!

* * *

**Santana Lopez **posted a video.

**Blaine Criss: **Damn…so frikkin HOT!

**Kurt Hummel: **When I get back to my house…oh Santana, you will be sorry.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Blaine, I agree. Are you sure you aren't capital G gay, Kurt? Cuz I wanna make out with you.

(**Puck** likes this)

**Artie Abrams: **haha, your voice cracked!

(**Finn Hudson, Puck, **and **308** friends like this)

**David Michaels**: Kurt you have just become my new best friend. I LOVE MELLENCAMP!

**Kurt Hummel: **then go talk to my dad.

(**Burt Hummel-Hudson **likes this)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** has been referenced as 'Sexy Lumberjack Blaine is in Love With' way too many times. Cue **David Michaels **and **Wes Anderson** snickering.

**Wes Anderson: **and snickering we are, Sexy Lumberjack

(**David Michaels, Finn Hudson, **and **59** friends like this)

**Kurt Hummel: **I am seriously going to kill Santana. Brittany keeps on stalking me about making out.

(**Puck, Santana Lopez** and **12** other friends like this)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Does that mean you want to make out Kurt?

**Kurt Hummel:** Sorry Britt, I have a boyfriend. But, don't worry, ask Artie. I'm sure he'll say yes:)

(**Artie Abrams **likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **sure you do, buddy

(**Blaine Criss, Kurt Hummel, **and **36** friends like this.)

**Sam Evans** to** Quinn Fabray: **We have been named Qua

* * *

m. It sounds like a duck quaking. Trust me, it does. I think we should have been named Fabans, because, according to Kurt, it sounds like 'Fabulous'.

**Quinn Fabray: **I have a dork as a boyfriend.

**Quinn Fabray: **Wow. This is...wow. I mean…wow.

**Quinn Fabray:** And everyone calls you Lemon Head…

**Quinn Fabray: **you seduce me with Avatar talk…

**Quinn Fabray: **And we have been named Quam.

**Quinn Fabray: **Wow. I still love you after all that.

**Santana Lopez: **How frikkin charming.

(**Rachel Berry **likes this.)

**Sam Evans: **Lopez, are you always on Facebook?

**Santana Lopez: **I took a lesson from Sue. You have to be everywhere, at every time…be warned.

* * *

**Finn Hudson** HOLY SHIT! MY EYES HAVE BEEN SCARRED! AHHH ASDFGHJKL!

**Kurt Hummel: **No. It didn't happen!

**Finn Hudson: **it did. Kurt, can you come pick me up?

**Kurt Hummel: **On my way, brother, on my way.

**Rachel Berry: **What's going on?

**Finn Hudson: **you don't want to know.

* * *

**David Michaels **has been kicked out of his bed so **Finn Hudson** can sleep in it. I am now in a sleeping bag on the floor, along with **Wes Anderson**. Some friends we have.

**Kurt Hummel: **I shall explain tomorrow morning.

**Wes Anderson: **YOU BETTER BITCH!

* * *

**Wes Anderson **to** Finn Hudson: **dude, you are welcome over here whenever you ASDFGHJKL.

* * *

**Finn Hudson **to **Wes Anderson: **Thanks man. I owe you one.

**Rachel Berry: **Sorry to comment, but what happened that Finn skipped two days of school?

**Finn Hudson: **What you and Jesse didn't do, but with mom and Burt.

(**Jesse St. James** likes this)

* * *

**New Directions **plans to kick some butt this Sectionals! Bring it **Dalton Warblers! **

**Puck: **yeah bitch!

**Quinn Fabray: **Puckerman, language!

**Wes Anderson: **Bring it mother fuckersXD

**Quinn Fabray: **Anderson, language!

**Kurt Hummel: **I hope we tie for first:)

**Blaine Criss: **Were gonna win, Kurt;)

**Mercedes Jones: **were gunna whoop your all's asses!

(**Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez, **and **9 **other friends like this)

**David Michaels: **Hey, we have Mellencamp Kurt up our sleeves;)

(**Will Shuster **likes this)

**Kurt Hummel: **I will always be haunted by Mellencamp.

(**Burt Hummel-Hudson **likes this)

* * *

**Dalton Warblers **to **New Directions: **Congrats on winning Sectionals! Luckily, we both are competing at Nationals, due to a few district changes for the Warblers:)

* * *

**Santana Lopez **WE WON FUCKING SECTIONALS! Yeah, **Blaine Criss, Wes Anderson, David Michaels, **and **Kurt Hummel **we kicked your ½ gay butts!

(**Finn Hudson, Will Shuster **and **11 **other friends like this)

**Finn Hudson: **The kicking butt part, not the gay part.

(**Kurt Hummel **and **Blaine Criss **like this)

**Kurt Hummel: **Thanks for that little tidbit of information Finn.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** to **Rachel Berry: **save my normal seat in Glee today.

(**Blaine Criss **likes this)

* * *

**Will Shuster **has to comfort about 8 crying teens right now. Help?

**Emma Pillsbury: **on my way. Why are they crying?

**Will Shuster: **you'll see!

* * *

**Puck **yeah, today was fucking awesome

(**Kurt Hummel **likes this)

* * *

**Blaine Criss **to **Kurt Hummel: **even though you don't go to Dalton anymore, we still got ourselves a nickname: Klaine. KLAINE!

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Blaine Criss: **KLAINE? Better than Quam;)

* * *

**Brittany S. Pierce **doesn't like her couple name. Bartie? Sounds like Brittany and Artie together.

**Puck: ***facepalm*

**Santana Lopez: ***facepalm*

**Mike Chang: ***facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Mercedes Jones: ***facepalm*

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Artie Abrams: **Britt-Britt, it's suppose to sound like our names combined.

**Brittany: **OOH! I get it.

(**Santana Lopez, Puck **and **9 **other friends like this)

* * *

**David Michaels **to **Wes Anderson: **Can we proclaim our bromance love with a name like Klaine, Furt, and Finchel?

**Wes Anderson **to **David Michaels: **Des or Wevid?

* * *

**David Michaels **Des or Wevid?

**Kurt Hummel: **Wevid.

**Mercedes Jones: **Wevid.

**Finn Hudson: **Des.

**Rachel Berry: **Wevid.

**Santana Lopez: **Wevid.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Wevid.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **and **David Michaels **and a bromance name: Des.

**Finn Hudson: **YES! Was it the opposite of what we wanted?

**David Michaels: **YUP!

* * *

**Finn Hudson **and you guys think I'm dumb.

(**Kurt Hummel, Burt Hummel-Hudson **and **389 **friends like this.)

**Finn Hudson: **you all suck.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **I hate **New Directions** because they are now singing a Mellencamp song to just grate my nerves.

**Mike Chang: **It's what we live to do. Annoy the crap outta ya Kurt:)

**Finn Hudson: **Chang, you have it lucky. He just threw a textbook at me. Not. Cool. Kurt.

(**Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, **and **16 **other friends like this)

* * *

**And here is another little tidbit! This shows just sectionals and stuffs. Well, review please! All I have to say:)**

**-Madi**


	3. Over Quotations and Utter Confusion

**AN: AVPM/AVPS and Bare: The Pop Opera go to their respectful owners, as does Glee and the characters. Also, Facebook. I don't own anything...yet!**

**

* * *

**BITCH I AINT CHO CHANG!

Santana Lopez

(**Kurt Hummel **likes this)

**Puck: **that's lavender brown *claps hands to **Quinn Fabray**'s ears* RACIST SISTER!

**Quinn Fabray: ***squeaks in pain* OOW!

**Finn Hudson: **That's alright, I'm Cho Chang ya'll.

(**Kurt Hummel **likes this)

* * *

**Sam Evans **to **Quinn Fabray: **you won't sleep on your tummy

**Quinn Fabray: **You won't sleep on your back.

**Puck: **You're quite a kooky couple, I agree

(**Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson **and **156 **friends like this)

* * *

**Finn Hudson **I wanna take to the city, get all up in your titties, **Rachel Berry**!

**David Michaels: **You're serenading her through Facebook now? NIIICE!

**Wes Anderson: **Bromance David, want me to serenade you right now? ;)

**Blaine Criss: **KURT COME SAVE ME!

**Kurt Hummel: **uhh..ACCIO GUITAR!

**Blaine Criss: **I am so, utterly confused…

* * *

**Blaine Criss **WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT ME KNOW WHAT EVEYRONE IS TALKING ABOUT?

(**Sam Evans **likes this)

**Sam Evans: **Because your Blaine frikkin Criss

* * *

**Rachel Berry **The way his hair falls in his eyes, makes me wonder if he'll ever see through my disguise and I'm under his spell…**Finn Hudson **can't you see what you are doing to me?

**Finn Hudson: **Best. Night. Ever.

**Puck: **What happened till 25 and 10 tony's bitch?

**Finn Hudson: **I happened!

(**Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce **and** 56 **friends like this)

**Will Shuester: **Please tell me there's NOT going to be a babygate!

* * *

**Blaine Criss **I have a feeling everyone is quoting song lyrics…

**Kurt Hummel: **Blaine lets reevaluate our options, throw away our old presumptions…

**Blaine Criss: **suspicion confirmed. Now, I need to know what artist it is.

**Finn Hudson: **dude, you can just ask us!

**Wes Anderson: **yeah man, we are right here.

**David Michaels: **seriously dude, I can't believe you are GOOGLING it when Wes and I are singing 'Granger Danger'

* * *

**Puck **there will always be guys like **Sam Evans** who will quench the flame like it's a game.

(**Quinn Fabray **likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **So many assholes (Puck) in this place, so many assholes (puck) in my face!

**Sam Evans: **Why can't they leave me alone? To love princesses, maids and queens?

**Will Shuester: **they wouldn't ever be in between…

**Puck: **dude, Sam, YOU CANNOT SING A SONG DIRECTED TO YOU! BITCH!

(**Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel **and **269** friends like this)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **I got gayer than the fourth of July!

**Quinn Fabray: **wait until marriage.

(**Puck **likes this)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **bi curious.

**Finn Hudson: **No, I meant with the sorting hat.

**Quinn Fabray: **Gryffindor!

**Quinn Fabray: **oh, and Puck, don't think I didn't notice the liking thing. Your ass is mine in Glee tomorrow!

(**Santana Lopez **likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **I have a bunch of nasty jokes in comment to this. I will tell you all tomorrow;)

**Artie Abrams: **dear god, save us!

* * *

**Will Shuester **posted a video

**Sam Evans: **Awwehh! TO precious:)

**Finn Hudson: **Tike and Finchel live on forever!

**Santana Lopez: **Cuz baby you're not alone!

**Kurt Hummel: **cuz you're here with me!

**Rachel Berry: **AND NOTHING EVER GUNNA BRING US DOWN!

* * *

**Mike Chang **To dance again! I've been waiting all these years to dance again.

(**Artie Abrams **likes this)

**Artie Abrams: **And at once a chance appears!

**Mike Chang: **to hear the beat

**Artie Abrams: **So on your feet!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **it's time to dance again!

* * *

**Will Shuester **She thinks that we're finished, she thinks that were done.

(**Emma Pillsbury **likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **She thinks that it's over. Her battle is won. HA!

**Puck: **She thinks that were finished, but we aren't through.

**Kurt Hummel: **Stop and think my friends what would Will do for you?

(**New Directions, Rachel Berry, **and **13 **other friends like this)

**Will Shuester: **awweh, guys, I'm touched.

* * *

**Brittany S. Pierce **Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum, yum, yum!

**Artie Abrams: **I like you Britt:)

**Brittany S. Pierce: **LIKE YOU TOO ARTIE!

* * *

**Wes Anderson **to **Blaine Criss: **Now, it's time to be a man!

* * *

**David Michaels **to **Blaine Criss: **a great big muscley, super big (winkface!), super hot MAAAN!

* * *

**Sam Evans **to **Finn Hudson: **You don't understand, you're a legend, man, to us all!

**Finn Hudson: **thanks Sam. Bad day with the football team, and you doubt yourself.

**Sam Evans: **don't worry, your Finn freaking Hudson!

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **I take a grain of salt, stiff upper lip.

**Blaine Criss: **song lyric portraying to real life?

**Kurt Hummel: **yes:'{

**Blaine Criss: **be there aysap!

* * *

**Blaine Criss **I FINALLY GOT IT! YOU ALL ARE QUOTING A VERY POTTER MUSICAL, AND A VERY POTTER SEQUAL!

(**Wes Anderson, Kurt Hummel, **and **379 **friends like this)

**David Michaels: **Dude, it took you long enough. The guy who plays Harry Potter friggin looks like you!

**Blaine Criss: **sorry…I've never been into parodies…but that has changed, immensely.

* * *

**Blaine Criss **is eating Redvines:)

**Kurt Hummel: **oh, how I love you;)

**Blaine Criss: **love you too!

**Santana Lopez: **I'm sure you both love each other's 'red vines' too;)

(**Blaine Criss** and **Kurt Hummel **like this)

**Santana Lopez: **That's right sexy gay boys, that's right.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Blaine Criss: **I found a new musical for us to quote…Bare: The Pop Opera.

* * *

** I have been a fangirl of AVPM, and AVPS for about two years (one year for AVPS!) so, before you guys get up on my grill, this was purely written ecause I was listening to the soundtrack of AVPM. Bare came in because, well, sexy gay guys is what Bare is about;) ANYWAYS, thanks so much for the reviews! Those are partially why I got this written so fast:D Keep em coming my wonderful reviewers who I love! when I have time, I will definantly reply to everyone of them! **

**Also, if ya'll have any ideas, tell me! Any couples you want to see, anything:)**

**So...LOVE YOU ALL!**

**-Madi**


	4. Weddings and Drunken Speeches

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans **has been HACKED! By the most amazing person in the world:) It's what you get for leaving up facebook on MY computer! Way to go man, way to go. (BTW, this is Finn)

(**Puck, Quinn Fabray **and **115 **friends like this)

**Finn Hudson: **I also changed your language to pirate. GRRR!

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **Well, I LIKE IT!

**Quinn Fabray: **you WOULD sam:)

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **just because I am a dork…

**Santana Lopez: **yes, just because you are a dork gives us the right to call you both Lemon Head, and Avatar dude. What's next, Star Wars?

(**Rachel Berry, Kurt Hummel **and **756 **other friends like this)

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **May the force be with you:)

**Quinn Fabray: **Sam, we need to have a talk. Chat. Now.

**Santana Lopez: **SHE HAS YOU BY THE BALLS!

* * *

**Sam  
**what is it quinnie boo?

**Quinn  
**I don't want everyone finding out you are a dork.

**Sam  
**but, I am one! I thought you'd be happy for me, coming out as a dork.

**Quinn  
**sam, I am. but not on facebook!

**Sam  
**I thought you wouldn't care about that. you said I was more important that your reputation.

**Sam  
**I never thought it wouldn't be more important. I love you Quinn. Even if I am a dork.

**Sam  
**Quinn? Q? Honey, are you crying?

**Quinn  
**No.

**Sam  
**I know you, you ARE crying. why?

**Quinn  
**because, I love you too.

**Sam  
**:) no one can resist me and my dorkable ways!

**Quinn  
**no, I can.

**Quinn  
**and that was a lie so big, I just asked for forgiveness.

**Sam  
**haha! hey, accept the request I sent you. the sooner we plan this shit, the better.

**Sam  
**oops, I meant…um…event that will one day take the world by storm?

**Quinn  
**that's better. Do I have to change my last name?

**Sam  
**only on the day of only on the day of. Wait, should we get kurt to plan it? or do you want someone else too?

**Quinn  
**Kurt and Rachel and Finn. Also referred to as Kurtchelinn. We need kurt's taste in fashion, rachel's music choices, and finn to make sure they don't go overboard.

**Sam  
**did you accept?

**Quinn  
**yes. Dang, you are very pushy.

**Sam  
**no, I just wanna see all the comments to this shindig.

**Quinn  
**lol, I love you babe!

* * *

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans **and **Quinn Fabray **are now engaged.

**Santana Lopez: **what the fuuuucckkk?

(**Puck, Finn Hudson **and **100 **friends like this)

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **we've been engaged for say…two months actually. Qunnie and I wanted a 'white wedding'.

**Kurt Hummel: **whose planning? I think I should, and Finn will take care of the music.

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **We've decided (meaning Quinn decided) that you, Rachel (because she will get involved somehow) and Finn will take care of it. Hence the epic name, Kurtchelinn.

(**Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry **and **Kurt Hummel **like this).

**Quinn Fabray: **of course you do;) Now, Rachel I'm going to give you my cell phone number.

**Rachel Berry: **Your cell phone number? I'd be honored:)

(**Puck **likes this)

**Rachel Berry: **got it Q! Thanks! I'm emailing you the top twenty dresses you should wear, and the color schemes for it (Kurt just texted me everything. Damn, he works fast).

**Santana Lopez: **^^ TWSS

(**Will Shuester, Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans **and **356 **friends like this)

**Rachel Berry: ***sigh* thanks Santana

**Santana Lopez: **welcome Man-Hands!

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Quinn Fabray: **Hell. No. I am NOT wearing that shade of blue!

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Santana Lopez: **YOU WILL WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK I TELL YOU TO WEAR BITCH!

* * *

**Santana Lopez **thinks that **Kurt Hummel **scares her. Like, in a way she nearly pissed in her pants.

(**Finn Hudson **and **Rachel Berry **like this)

**Rachel Berry: **You aren't watching him scream at the man on the phone for this really pretty church. Quinn already chose the color scheme, I have the music, and Finn is making sure the guy on the other end doesn't start crying. It's pretty funny. I'm going to go take a video. Santana, you have it so much easier.

**Finn Hudson: **THE DUDE STARTED CRYING! and we got the chapel for free! Go bitchy Kurt!

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Quinn Fabray: **sorry, honey, they were out off white roses. I'm on the search for them:) I will find them!

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **FOUND OFF WHITE ROSES! NOW WE DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE THE COLOR SCHEME. This makes for a very happy Kurt.

**Santana Lopez: **as long as you are happy, I'm happy:)

* * *

**Rachel Berry **posted a video.

(**Quinn Fabray, Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans, **and **49 **other friends like this)

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **poor guy, lol.

**Quinn Fabray: **damn, Rachel, you're right. Kurt is very scary.

(**Kurt Hummel **likes this)

**Finn Hudson: **and that isn't even him at his worst- DON'T THROW THE SEVEN POUND HISTORY BOOK AT MY HEAD KURT!

(**Santana Lopez **likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **I am official the second bitch in charge. Wedding planner Kurt is the first.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **has changed her name to **Quinn Fabray-Evans.**

* * *

**Rachel Berry **posted a new album: **A Fabray-Evans Wedding, 2010.**

* * *

**Quinn Fabray-Evans **and **Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans **changed their profile picture.

**Kurt Hummel: **Barbie and Ken look so sweet!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I know! It's too cute!

**Santana Lopez: **Hummel, you may scare the piss outta me, but I really think you should be a wedding planner. Except, ya know, don't make the priest cry next time.

**Sam 'Lemon Head' Evans: **thanks everyone for coming! I loved how you all sang Lucky down the aisle.

**Quinn Fabray-Evans: **It was really sweet and cute.

**Rachel Berry: **No problem! It was fun:)

**Finn Hudson: **the reception was a blast!

(**Santana Lopez **likes this)

* * *

**Artie Abrams **posted a video

(**Puck, Burt Hummel-Hudson **and **596 **other friends like this)

**Kurt Hummel: ***holds head in shame*

**Blaine Criss: ***hugs Kurt as he holds head in shame*

**Finn Hudson: ***hides all textbooks in the room*

**Rachel Berry: ***gets a pillow to protect herself*

**Santana Lopez: ***laughs at drunk Kurt making a toast*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **"And, I made the priest cry. And it tasted like God. And God taste good. Or like shit. I don't remember."

**Puck: **we gotta get you drunk some more. I haven't laughed like that in a long time!

**Kurt Hummel: ***flips everyone off in a hangover state*

**Santana Lopez: **love you too, bitch.

* * *

**I don't know how I feel about this chapter, but it was intrestiong to write. I've been meanign to write this for like, four days? but me being busy made that hard. So, did you like the Fabray-Evan's wedding story? It was intresting to write. I'm think about doing a oneshot on this wedding, but, we'll see if that ever happens! Anyways, thatnks SO much for all the reviews on this story! I'm blown away by how many people like it:) Keep em coming though! I like them all, big and small, long or short. (TWSS, by the way. Anyways...) and even if it's just a 'good story, I like it' I thrive offa feedback!**

**Have a great Saturday the 4th!**

**-Madi**


	5. Crushes, Parties, and Truth or Dare

****

Sam Evans

has never seen snow. In his life. The winter wonderland before my house is amazing!

**Quinn Fabray: **where the hell did you live?

**Kurt Hummel: **who hasn't seen snow before?

**Artie Abrams: **why are you in awe of snow?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **do you realize that school will still be in session tomorrow?

**Santana Lopez: **why are we talking in question form?

(**Puck **likes this)

**Sam Evans: **wait, were going to have school tomorrow?

* * *

**Will Shuester **DEAR GLEE KIDS: we're skipping school to go caroling in the snow. Prepare some songs guys and girls!

**Rachel Berry: **Can the guys from Dalton come with us?

**Finn Hudson: **yeah, can they Mr. Schue? Maybe we can have a competition to see who can raise the most money for some local charity?

**Puck: **Can I sing a Jewish song?

**Emma Pillsbury: **Will, did Figgins approve?

**Will Shuester: **in answer to all your questions: YES!:)

* * *

**Blaine Criss **to **Kurt Hummel: **wanna sing baby it's cold outside. You must admit, our voice do sound perfect together. But this time, I wanna take the girls part.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **to **David Michaels: **I call singing the awesomest song ever!

**David Michaels: **but, I thought you loved me:'{

**Wes Anderson: **I do. But not as much as TASE!

**Blaine Criss: **I really need some new, not in the closet friends.

* * *

**David Michaels **has snow up his fine ass. Legit.

**Kurt Hummel: **LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

**David Michaels: **and I have your super fine ass women **Mercedes Jones** to thank.

**Mercedes Jones: **you are no better than Puck.

**Puck: **I told her she has more curves than a Nissan ad;)

**Kurt Hummel: **and this is when I slap both of you. Mercedes is MINE! Aint that right, Cedes?

**Mercedes Jones: **…..

**Kurt Hummel: **Cedes? NOOOO! You cannot fall under their charming looks and spells!

**Puck: **Hot mama, wanna be Puckcedes with me;)

**David Michaels: **I shall abandon the epic bromance that is Des to be Dacedes with you!

**Kurt Hummel: **She likes those cold coffee drinks.

(**Mercedes Jones** likes this)

**David Michaels: **I WILL GET YOU ONE SWEETIE!

**Puck: **back off, man, I WILL GET HER ONE FIRST!

**Kurt Hummel: **Boys…

**Blaine Criss: **tell me about it.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **is dreaming of a white Christmas. Too bad there's school.

**Wes Anderson: **NO SCHOOL FOR US!

**Kurt Hummel: **This is the only reason I regret leaving Dalton. Your administration forgets it's a BOARDING school.

**Blaine Criss: **not really. They just wanted to have a snowball fight with us. Yes, Dalton is that cool.

**Quinn Fabray: **UGH! And Coach Sue is making us practice IN THE SNOW! Right now, I'm glad to say, I have Glee before Cheerios.

**Rachel Berry: **I always knew you liked Glee better.

**Santana Lopez: **shut your face Berry.

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Kurt Hummel: **Hey, I heard your hosting a holiday party, and a Secret Santana thing. Can you do our (and by our I mean Britt, Cedes, Quinn, Tina, Rachel and my) makeup for said party? I'll do everyone's hair, Cedes will accessories, Rachel will bring her pop iPod, Tina will bring some food, and Quinn will bring he shoes (have you SEEN her shoe selection?) If you do all of our makeup. Please, Kurtsie? For me *puppy dog eyes*

* * *

**Rachel Berry **posted a picture.

(**Mike Chang, Puck **and **5** other friends like this)

**Kurt Hummel: **You better. With all the time I spent into their flawless faces, you better like this. Now, I only have about thirty minutes to do my hair:( not to sound whiney or all, but I really don't wanna wear the hairstyle that makes me look like a ten year old.

**Finn Hudson: **But, you look cute in that hairstyle!

**Puck: **WTF Finn?

**Finn Hudson: **Hey, I'm only stating the truth.

**Finn Hudson: **And, I am glad Kurt has hidden all textbooks. He needs to get some anger management.

**Kurt Hummel: **I know how to manage my anger. I throw stuff at you.

(**Wes Anderson, Blaine Criss **and **13** other friends like this)

**Finn Hudson: **screw you all.

**Kurt Hummel: **Fine. You are OFFICIALLY! uninvited to the said holiday party.

**Finn Hudson: **I live here Kurt. This is also my house.

**Kurt Hummel: **for once, in my life, I have no comeback.

* * *

**Sam Evans **is sick with the flu. I cannot make the holiday party (unless you want me throwing up everywhere). But, call me when ya get the chance! Thanks for the invite anyway **Kurt Hummel**.

**Quinn Fabray: **awwehhh, I so sorry Sammy:'(

**Kurt Hummel: **We'll put you on speakerphone when everyone arrives. At this point in time, it's the dreaded FB hour, where everyone in the house is on FB right now. All on our phones.

**Puck: **pretty much. I came early to make sure we were allowed to have booze. No booze. Sad Puck.

**Quinn Fabray: **Like Burt would let us have a few beers!

**Kurt Hummel: **No friggin way, not after I threw up on Mrs. Pillsbury-Dentist's Last Name Inserted Here's shoes.

(**Finn Hudson, **and **Burt Hummel **like this)

* * *

**Santana Lopez **posted a video

**Sam Evans: **I missed the most epic game of truth or dare, didn't I?

**Santana Lopez: **Indeed you did, Lemon Head.

**Sam Evans: **I will forever be haunted by that name.

**Artie Abrams: **Best part is when Rachel and Kurt were dared to make out. This dare was courtesy of Noah Puckerman.

**Puck: **that's only because Britt and San wouldn't make out. I still want that threesome, San and Britt, BTW.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Artie told me to tell you no. So HA!

**Blaine Criss: **I liked the truth where Rachel admitted to have a fangirl crush on JonGroff.

**Kurt Hummel: **"His eyes are soo cute, and he sings too good! Like, I love him as much as I love Barbra. Too bad he's gay."

**Finn Hudson: **I don't like the fangirl crush.

**Blaine Criss: **That's because you are in love with Lea Michele.

**Finn Hudson: **She's legit man! Rach introduced me to this girl, and she's legit! *blushes*

**Rachel Berry: **I'm more talented than her though, riiiight?

**Finn Hudson: **Yes.

**Rachel Berry: **Just making sure;)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **has thrown an epic party. Before you clog up my inbox with a rant, how about you all just text me instead, or tell me in glee.

**Rachel Berry: **nope.

**Finn Hudson: **We will

**Santana Lopez: **be

**Artie Abrams: **clogging

**Wes Anderson: **this

**Mercedes Jones: **status

**Puck: **up

**Brittany S. Pierce: **with

**Blaine Criss: **unrelated

**Mercedes Jones: **conversations

**David Michaels: **!

**Kurt Hummel: **everyone go fuck yourself.

**Quinn Fabray: **LANGUAGE HUMMEL!

**Kurt Hummel: **sorry Quinn.

**Sam Evans: **I miss out on everything.

**Mike Chang: **you sure as hell- I mean, um, Hades, do!

**Mike Chang: **before you even comment Quinn, I know: LANGUAGE CHANG! Thanks for looking out for each and every one of us. It's awesome!

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **to **Tina Cohen-Chang: **I like your boyfriend. He's smart enough to correct himself before I go all HBIC on him. I approve of this relationship.

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang **to **Quinn Fabray: **So you're saying, he pretty much complimented you.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **to **Tina Cohen-Chang: **pretty much.

* * *

**THERE IS SNOW OUTSIDE! AND this is what inspired this little facebook loving from them. Anways, I hope everyone is having a great day! I'm hoping there will be no school tomorrow:) Anyways, review guys! Sorry for not updating this for a while either. I have been majorly busy. Hope you all enjoyed! I love the reviews, big, small, long, and short. :)**

**-Madi**


	6. Festivities, Green Day and Gifts Galore

**Santana Lopez **yes we need a little Christmas right this very minute.

**(Brittany S. Pierce **likes this)

**Artie Abrams: **MERRY CHRISTMAS!

**Mercedes Jones: **ONE MORE DAAYY!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I know:) SO EXCITED!

**Kurt Hummel: **Remember, New Years Eve party at my place, and we'll exchange our Secret Santa presents there. I already have mine picked out, and it's being shipped here today;D

**Blaine Criss: **Are the Warblers invited?

**Kurt Hummel: **….Only Wes, David and Blaine:D

**Alexander Queen: **NOT ME:(

**Kurt Hummel: **Santana, why are you friends with Alex Queen?

**Santana Lopez: **He's cute.

**Kurt Hummel: **You stalked my Warbler friends, didn't you?

**Santana Lopez: **Pretty much.

**Mercedes Jones: **Kurt- Since you already know what you are getting your SS, can you help me with mine?

**Kurt Hummel: **Santana- You creeper. Mercedes- Sure bb! Chat now?

**Mercedes Jones: **Since my phone is dead, pretty much. Peace out everyone!

**Santana Lopez: **Love you Cedes, cuz we be the top biznitches;)

* * *

**Mercedes  
**I got Quinn. We haven't really talked since she left to go live with her Mom in September.

**Kurt  
**Oh. See, I got Mr. Puckerman. I got him warm fuzzy pink bunny slippers and matching boxers! Funny, right?

**Mercedes  
**LOL! I cannot wait to see his face! Well, what should I get Quinnie?

**Kurt  
**Something cute, and a little funny. Lemme text her and see if she likes gag gifts, like I'm getting Puck.

**Kurt  
**She doesn't mind a little humor. How about a baby doll, that's like black?

**Kurt  
**Not meaning to be racist or anything, it's just Beth wasn't black, and looked like Quinn, not like you.

**Mercedes  
**That hits a little too close to home. How about something for stretch marks, and a baby blanket?

**Kurt  
**Much better than mine. Her favorite animals is a monkey. She's asking me who I'm helping. Don't worry, bb, I won't tell or peep a word.

**Mercedes  
**Thank boo! Love you. I'll text ya a pic of the baby blanket when I buy it. Sneaking out of the house right now, even though it'll be crazy anywhere I go right now. FEW! Charging my phone, and stealing my brothers. I'll call ya for help. Hope Puck likes the bunny slippers.

**Kurt  
**He better! Haha, no problem for helping you boo:) Love you x33

* * *

**Puck **to **Rachel Berry: **Sarah loves her West Side Story, Wicked and Mary Poppins CD. I like my American Idiot one. Thanks for no animal sweaters this year! I can't believe we exchange Christmas presents, despite the fact we are both Jewish.

* * *

**Rachel Berry **to **Puck: **We both know it's because your mom doesn't like me giving you guys Hanukkah presents, since I 'overspoil' you all. My dads got me tickets this year to see American Idiot (along with ND and Wes, David and Blaine!)

* * *

**Puck **to **Rachel Berry: **I love your Dads. Legit. They are awesome. I GET TO MEET REBECCA NAOMI JONES! She rocks Letterbomb. Green Day FTW!

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **would like to thank **Sam Evans **for the silver necklace around my neck, even though it clashes with my gold cross, I love the moon shape.

(**Kurt Hummel **and **Blaine Criss **like this)

**Blaine Criss: **Simple, and classy.

**Kurt Hummel: **Pure and sweet.

**Blaine Criss: **Both Kurt and I approve.

(**Kurt Hummel **likes this)

**Sam Evans: **How do you both manage to talk to one another on other people's status's?

**Kurt Hummel: **It's a gift.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **Everyone have their Secret Santa presents ready? I know I do!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Why are we exchanging them so late?

**Kurt Hummel: **Since we got them at the Christmas party, I gave everyone a week or less than that to shop.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I don't know what to get mine though!

**Kurt Hummel: **How about you draw them a picture?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **With crayons?

**Kurt Hummel: **That's perfect Brittany!

**Mercedes Jones: **You seem to be helping everyone with their presents Kurt!

* * *

**Blaine Criss **to **Mike Chang: **Thanks for the Rainbow hat that says 'I LOVE MY GAY BOYFRIEND!' in bold letters. Wes and David are fighting over who gets to wear it first.

* * *

**Mike Chang **to **Santana Lopez: **Thanks for the pointe shoes. How'd you know I wanted them?

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Finn Hudson: **Thanks for the therapeutic CD. I guess I do have anger management. I'll use it to throw at losers who need a life.

* * *

**Finn Hudson **to **Brittany S. Pierce: **Thank you for the picture of a dolphin with a scarf and a shark with a jersey on. I'm guessing it's me and Kurt as sea animals?

* * *

**Brittany S. Pierce **to **Quinn Fabray: **Thanks for the Cheerio Barbie doll Quinn!

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **to **Mercedes Jones: **Thanks for the stretch mark cream and the baby blanket with a monkey on it. Their too cute!

* * *

**Mercedes Jones **to **Sam Evans: **Thanks for the bling Ken!

* * *

**Sam Evans **to **Puck: **Thanks for the condom. I really needed that *this is all sarcastic BTW you BITCH!*

* * *

**Puck **to **Kurt Hummel: **I LOVE my bunny slippers, bunny boxers and the tiara. I feel like such a pretty princess:)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Wes Anderson: **Thank you for my rainbow shirt that says 'I LOVE MY GAY BOYFRIEND!' My Dad, Carole and Finn are laughing at me. Finn, though, already laughed last night.:/ Remind me to kill you.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **to **David Michaels: **Thanks for the bumper sticker that says, "I'm so far in the closet, I'm hiding in Narnia." Really, it tickles me pink. My girlfriend, on the other hand, isn't too pleased with it. Damn bromance. I'm calling it off!

* * *

**David Michaels **to **Blaine Criss: **I love the magnet that says, "I sing opera in the showers, and all my shampoos think I'm really good!" It's so going on the mini-fridge in the room right now. Also, due to my giftthe bromance is off. He was a whiner anyways.

* * *

**Blaine Criss **I need new friends.

**Finn Hudson: **why?

**Blaine Criss: **It's like a war here! Ever since they called off the damn bromance, it's like two girls PMSing, and I'M THE MIDDLE MAN!

**Finn Hudson: **I'd say wanna crash here, but….Burt wouldn't be to happy bout that.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'll stay at Rache's for a while. Let those two boys figure out themselves.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **Blaine abandoned us. Now, who will get my iPod when it's on David's side of the room?

**Rachel Berry: **and I thought I was a drama queen!

(**New Directions, Kurt Hummel **and **13 **friends like this)

**Rachel Berry: **Love you too!

* * *

**Matt Rutherford **Hey facebooking people:)

**Mike Chang: **MATT!

**Matt Rutherford: **CHANG!

**Mike Chang: **What up? How's SoCali?

**Matt Rutherford: **Not that much fun. I miss Glee:'( But, I'm lead singer in a band, so it kina evens itself out.

**Mike Chang: **that's awesome! Send us a CD sometime?

**Matt Rutherford: **cool. Gotta go, were gunna perform some Christmas songs on the beach.

**Mike Chang: **Cool. Love you bro!

* * *

**Rachel Berry **wishes school didn't start again. This was a great break:)

**Blaine Criss: **AYYMEN SISTAH!

(**Santana Lopez **likes this)

**Mercedes Jones: **You aren't black. Sorry to burst your bubble.

* * *

**Merry Christmas! Here's a little present for you all: A Christmas themed Facebook adenture. Anyways, you all make my day when I see a review, a favorite or an alert! So, right now, I have the next chapter in my mind, but hey, it depends if it's actually writable. So (hopefully) you enjoyed this. And, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and to all, a good afternoon:)**

**-Madi**


	7. Sex Games, Chemistry and Swans

**Santana Lopez **is going to the movies!

**Puck: **by yourself?

**Santana Lopez: **pretty much. No one is home, and I'm bored.

**Mercedes Jones: **me too! Wanna meet up at the movies?

**Santana Lopez: **why the hell not? Black Swan?

**Puck: **Shit, that movie looks scary. You sure ya don't need a man to cuddle up to?

**Santana Lopez: **oh, I'm sure we don't. Right Cedes?

**Mercedes Jones: **Yup, cuz were both strong women.

* * *

**Puck **just saw Black Swan. I almost peed in my pants.

* * *

**Rachel Berry **likes **Black Swan**

**Finn Hudson: **Rachel, that thing was SCARY AS HELL!

**Rachel Berry: **You're a baby.

**Finn Hudson: ***hides under the covers*

**Finn Hudson: **AND WE'RE SEEING SWAN LAKE TOMORROW!

**Finn Hudson: ***pretends to be sick*

**Rachel Berry: **you're not fooling me.

**Finn Hudson: **damnit.

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **OHMIGOD! Natalie Portman in Black Swan is like a goddess! AMAZING!

**Sam Evans: **I was scared throughout the whole movie!

**Kurt Hummel: **I personally liked the lesbian scene;D

(**Puck, Blaine Criss **and **12 **other friends like this)

**Finn Hudson: **Rachel covered my eyes when it came on.

**Puck: **loser.

**Rachel Berry: **But, I nibbled on his neck when it happened, so he's fine with it;)

**Finn Hudson: ***dies of embarrassment*

**Kurt Hummel: ***laughs at step brother*

**Blaine Criss: **Rachel – Kurt's sweet spot is the middle of his neck. I just bite it a little, and he swoons. Try rubbing the area, softly. I'm sure Finn will get the shivers.

**Kurt Hummel: ***joins Finn and dies of embarrassment*

**Santana Lopez: **How big is Kurt? Like, how big? Really big, or normal? In his Cheerios uniform, it looked like he had a package. WANKY WANKY!

**Blaine Criss: ***joins Kurt and Finn and dies of embarrassment*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Blaine, are you really dead?

**Blaine Criss: **No.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Good, because you're really hot. Are you a dolphin? Like Kurt?

**Blaine Criss: **What's a dolphin?

**Brittany S. Pierce: **a gay shark.

**Blaine Criss: **than yes.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Do you and Kurt have boy-kisses, and are you going to make babies together?

**Blaine Criss: **0.o

**David Michaels: **I love you Brittany.

* * *

**Brittany S. Pierce **I don't get Black Swan. It makes me confused. Why did she go crazy?

**Artie Abrams: **THAT MOVIE SCARED ME.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **posted a video.

**David Michaels: **LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

**Santana Lopez: **Busted!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Blaine is super yummy.

**Mercedes Jones: **Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel: **Can I pretend this didn't happen? .

**Blaine Criss: **YES!

**Puck: **Kurt! You're a little sex monkey!

(**Finn Hudson, Blaine Criss **and **12 **friends like this)

**Burt Hummel-Hudson: **Kurt, I think we need to talk about this.

**Kurt Hummel: ***walks upstairs, and holds head in shame*

**Santana Lopez: **Don't deny it, Kurtie, you liked it;D

(**Puck **and **Blaine Criss **like this)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **I just had the talk. O.o Never again, never again!

**Blaine Criss: **I'm kinda curious as how Wes did get us making out.

**Santana Lopez: **If I was him, I'd join in on you too. Blaine, you still didn't answer my question: How big is Kurt?

**Blaine Criss: **I still haven't figured that out yet;D

* * *

**Santana Lopez **to **Kurt Hummel: **you're a fucking tease, you know that?

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Santana Lopez: **and you're a fucking bitch, you know that?

* * *

**Blaine Criss **to **Wes Anderson: **how'd you find me and Kurt?

* * *

**Wes Anderson **to **Blaine Criss: **You were in the study room. I came in to study Biology, and I learned from you too how Chemistry and French work instead. So, to get back at you for the HP incident that shall remain a secret, I put your face suckage on Facebook. Need I say more?

* * *

**Blaine Criss **damn you **Wes Anderson **you are too good. :'{I cannot even retaliate due to said HP Incident.

**Rachel Berry: **Harry Potter Incident? Care to explain?

**David Michaels: ***gets popcorn and snacks on it*

**Wes Anderson: **I, uh, no not really :'{

**Blaine Criss: **Hey, that's MY EMOTICON! Not yours. And, I'm PM it to you, Rachel ;D

**Blaine Criss: **guess who just got revenge?

**Wes Anderson: **One bitch called Blaine Criss.

**Kurt Hummel: **Hey, and he's my bitch!

**Puck: **^^ Wanky wanky!

**Kurt Hummel: **damn.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **HOLY BEGESUS! BLACK SWAN FTW!

**Wes Anderson: **I cannot believe you saw that three times…in one day.

**Blaine Criss: **I can. He dragged me there. He ate popcorn though. It was exciting.

**Alex Queen: **I saw that movie.

**Blaine Criss: **Alex, why do you always randomly comment, when we both know you really didn't see that movie?

**Alex Queen: **Because I'm bored.

**Blaine Criss: **why don't you just go hang out with Natalie?

**Alex Queen: **…Portman?

**Kurt Hummel: **He means you're girlfriend, you nitwit.

(**Wes Anderson, the Dalton Warblers, **and **13 **other friends like this)

**Alex Queen: **Oh. I will, I guess.

**Blaine Criss: **and I'll go hang with mine.

**Santana Lopez: **may I join you too? Wanna play sex games? You can tie me up. And I don't mind it at all. I'll be your cheerleader, so will Kurt, and you can be the football that makes us scream.

**Kurt Hummel: **Santana, get off my status. Now.

**Santana Lopez: **No?

**Blaine Criss: **That's a hell naw!

(**Mercedes Jones **likes this)

**Puck: **San?

**Santana Lopez: **Be right over Puck. I'll bring the bunny ears.

**Alex Queen: **I know I'm popping in but…0.o

**Puck: **you're just jealous.

**Blaine Criss: **not really.

**Santana Lopez: **that's because you prefer a nice P were I have a sexy V.

**Santana Lopez: **NBD.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **I LOVE BLACK SWAN!

**David Michaels: **NOOOOOO it haunts me! She fucking accidently kills herself! How DOES THAT FREAKY SHIT HAPPEN?

**Wes Anderson: **I dunno how, but it's freaky shit I LIKE!

* * *

**Finn Hudson **Swan Lake haunts me in my sleep. HIEHFJLWNF

**Rachel Berry: **You baby.

(**New Directions, Kurt Hummel **and **10 **other friends like this.)

**Finn Hudson: **Love you too bitches.

**Finn Hudson: **before you even say, language Hudson, you've said bitch before.

**Quinn Fabray: **damnit. Ya know, sometimes you really piss me off.

**Finn Hudson: **It's a mutual thing, Quinn.

**Quinn Fabray: **Love you bitch.

**Finn Hudson: **Love you too, best friend fucker.

* * *

**Puck **posted a video

**Artie Abrams: **Finn, you just got served!

**Quinn Fabray: **I DIDN'T MEAN TO SMACK YOU THAT HARD!

**Mercedes Jones: ***dies laughing*

**Santana Lopez: ***joins Mercedes*

**Mike Chang: ***can't breathe!*

**Rachel Berry: **I'm sorry Finn, but I'm laughing at this.

**Kurt Hummel: **BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***giggles* *explodes laughing*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **STOP THE VIOLENCE!

**Sam Evans: **LOL Brittany! My girl's got a nice arm!

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah, and I have the bruise to prove it.

* * *

**This chapter was a little too much fun to write. Okay, I have the buring desire to see Black Swan, and I can't see it (hence the begining all about Black Swan) and then Wes and Klaine face suckage...I dunno how that came in. Overall, this chapter was probably my favorite to write, but I have no idea how this whole sex thing even started. Like, legit. Before you ask about the HP Incident, all I know is that it involved Daniel Radcliff, That Girl Who Plays Ginny, and boob feelage. That's what's in my head. ALSO! A really bad polyjuice potion. **

**And, I just found out that Blaine's last name is Anderson. Too bad it's Wes's name in this story. I won't be changing it, sorryXD But, I was only ONE CHARACTER OFF! DAMNIT! So, does that make up for it? Yes? Yes? YES! **

**Hope you all enjoyed! Sorry for not updating for so longXD **

**-Madi**


	8. Drugs, Facepalms, and Unrelated Topics

**Kurt Hummel **what's your drug of choice?

**Puck: **Weed

**Santana Lopez: **sex.

**Rachel Berry: **showtunes

**Blaine Criss: **(you) Katy Perry

**Burt Hummel-Hudson: **cupcakes.

**Finn Hudson**: (Rachel Berry) Call of Duty

**Mike Chang: **(Tina) Dance

**Sam Evans: **(Quinn) Lemon heads (they're a good candy, okay?)

**Quinn Fabray: **Lullabies.

**Mercedes Jones: **Shopping.

**Artie Abrams: **Seeing how fast I can go in my wheelchair.

**David Michaels: **Singing in the rain.

**Wes Anderson: **Warbler's practice.

**Blaine Criss: **^^ You're a little obsessed, m'dear sir.

**Kurt Hummel: **Yeah, throwing a gavel at Alex isn't cool, BTW.

**Wes Anderson: **He couldn't get the harmony right. I felt the urge to throw something at him. No biggie.

**Alex Queen: **Until I got three stitches.

**Puck: **Have any of you all been to juvie? They took my waffles.

**Santana Lopez: **and then you took em back;D

**Artie Abrams: **Yeah, sure…

**Mercedes Jones: **What about waffles? Cuz those things are just gross!

**Rachel Berry: **I agree with you Mercedes. Waffles have awkward textures. Pancakes are much better.

**Puck: **Dude, I can't eat pancakes. Not after Jew Camp:x

**Santana Lopez: **What happened?

**Jacob Ben Israel: **What happens at Jew Camp stays at Jew Camp.

(**Puck** likes this)

**Rachel Berry: **Which Jew Camp?

**Puck: **I don't remember. It just wasn't awesome.

**Blaine Criss: **I'VE GONE TO A JEW CAMP BEFORE!

**Blaine Criss: **Though, I'm not Jewish. But still.

**Quinn Fabray: **I've been to Bible Camp.

**Santana Lopez: **So have I. Is Jew Camp promiscuous? Because Bible Camp was.

**Quinn Fabray: **Isn't that were we learned about those skirts? ;D

**Santana Lopez: **I still have mine.

**Quinn Fabray: **ME TOO!

(**Sam Evans **likes this)

**Wes Anderson: **^ You a perv Sam.

**Sam Evans: **I'm her girlfriend.

**David Michaels: **You a pedo Sam.

**Quinn Fabray: **He's younger than me.

**Finn Hudson: **Just for the record Sam, you can't get her pregnant in a hot tub.

(**Puck, Santana **and **12** friends like this)

**Sam Evans: **thanks for the heads up, my brother.

**Kurt Hummel: **I thought I was your brother. *pouts*

**Sam Evans: **Were non-related brothers, nor are we related by marriage.

**Sam Evans: **Cuz the Humdels are awesome.

(**Burt Hummel-Hudson, Carole Hummel-Hudson, Kurt Hummel **and **Finn Hudson **like this)

**Santana Lopez: **HUMDELS FTW!

**Rachel Berry: **I wanna be a HUMDEL!

**Finn Hudson: **One day, you will babe.

**Finn Hudson: **I mean, ummm….

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah….

**Finn Hudson: **Kurt, can I come live with you at Dalton?

**Wes Anderson: **NO!

**David Michaels: **SURE!

**Blaine Criss: **YES!

**Kurt Hummel: **NO!

**Santana Lopez: **As much as it pains me to say it, we need him. But, in exchange for him and RuPaul, will take Blaine and Kurt from you.

**Wes Anderson: **Hmmm….only because they undress each other with their eyes. EYESEX *dies*

**Santana Lopez: **I've undressed Kurt with my eyes too ;D

**Kurt Hummel: **That's too much information.

**Blaine Criss: **How did we get off topic so easily?

**David Michaels: **OOH SHINY PENNY IS MINE! *gets shiny penny from ground*

**Mike Chang: **I think because we have too short of attention spans.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **What's a drug?

**Puck: ***facepalm*

**Santana Lopez: ***facepalm*

**Mike Chang: ***facepalm*

**Rachel Berry: ***facepalm*

**Finn Hudson: ***facepalm*

**Tina Cohen-Chang: ***facepalm*

**Kurt Hummel: ***facepalm*

**Mercedes Jones: ***facepalm*

**Sam Evans: ***facepalm*

**Quinn Fabray: ***facepalm*

**Will Shuster: ***facepalm*

**Wes Anderson: ***facepalm*

**David Michaels: ***facepalm*

**Blaine Criss: ***facepalm*

**Alex Queen: ***facepalm*

**Brittany S. Pierce: **HUGS NOT DRUGS!

**Kurt Hummel: **Thank you Brittany.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **CRACK IS WACK!

**Burt Hummel-Hudson: **Thank you Brittany.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **I LIKE DOLPHINS!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **WHY IS MY COMPUTER YELLING AT ME?

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm leaving this status.

**Mercedes Jones: **Me too.

**Santana Lopez: **Lopez out, bitches!

**Quinn Fabray: **Oh dear, I must be going *grabs Sam*

**Sam Evans: ***runs with Quinn*

**Finn Hudson: ***picks up Rachel and carries her out of this status*

**Rachel Berry: **PUT ME DOWN! *but, don't really*

**Puck: **I gotta go clean pools. PEACE OUT SUCKKAHS!

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **Asian OUT!

**Mike Chang: ***moonwalks out*

**Artie Abrams: **Uhh, I gotta go. BYE!

**Blaine Criss: **WAIT FOR ME KURT!

**Wes Anderson: **Oh look, my gavel needs to be cleaned.

**David Michaels: **Um, lemme help you with that. David and Wes are OUT!

**Brittany S. Pierce: **….Where did everyone go?

* * *

**Okay, this just...I dunno where the heck this came from. Anyways, this has happened to me on Facebook before. I've made friends on facebook just chatting on mutual friends status's. Yup, pretty much:D Anyways, I hope this wasn't too weird, and this is mostly just because I wanted Brittany to ask what a drug was. So, ENJOY! (Er, I mean, hopefully you enjoyed!) Please leave a review. I fangirl scream when I get them (Yes, I do.) So...yeah..**

**Two updates in two days? You all know I love you, right?**

**And I never do these but Disclaimer: Facebook, nor Glee, or any of their affiliates belong to me. But, I do have my imagination, so I guess I just have to wait a few more years till I own Glee...and maybe Facebook.**

**(That didn't make any sense. Another Disclaimer: I make no sense. Ever. But I'm pretty sure you all guessed that.)**

**(I should stop with this Author's Note, and the parentheses so I shall.)**

**()**

**(Tee-hee)**

**-Madi**


	9. Dougging, Life and Death

**Quick AN: Kurt is still at Dalton in this chapter. Justsayin.**

* * *

**Kurt Hummel** is teaching **Blaine Criss** how to douggie. This is legitimately happening. **Wes Anderson **is going to show everyone Blaine's version of how to douggie. This is epic.

**Blaine Criss: **I TOLD YOU I CANNOT DANCE!

(**Santana Lopez **and **David Michaels **like this)

**Santana Lopez: **Kurt's a great dancer. He's the only white person who can douggie.

**Blaine Criss: **HEY!

**Kurt Hummel: **It's true. Though, he is holding up nicely. I think it's a little too early to bust out the flips and back hand springs.

**Wes Anderson: **You can do flips?

**Kurt Hummel: **I use to be a Cheerio. Why doesn't Dalton have a Cheer team?

**Puck: **Because guys don't wanna look up other guys skirts…except, ya know, Kurt and Blaine.

**Kurt Hummel: **The guys don't look up the skirts. We wear pants, Puck.

**Finn Hudson: **Or kilts. They can wear kilts too.

**Rachel Berry: **Finn, Blaine isn't from Ireland. Neither is Kurt.

**Finn Hudson: **Oh.

* * *

**Blaine Criss **cannot douggie. At all. It's pathetic.

**Wes Anderson: **I CAN DOUGGIE!

**David Michaels: **ME TOO!

**Kurt Hummel: **NO WAY BRAH!

**Blaine Criss: **Since I am a gentleman, I will only rudely gesture you in private.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'll just tell you here: Fuck.

**Blaine Criss: **Gladly.

(**Puck, Santana Lopez, **and **26 **friends like this)

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **to **Finn Hudson: **yeah, at least you can semi douggie. Jus the arms though. Blaine can't be that bad, I thought, but, oh my, he was. He was.

* * *

**David Michaels** posted a video.

**Blaine Criss: **damn you. And, I don't cuss often.

**Quinn Fabray: **HOLYCRAP!

**Santana Lopez: **I CAN'T BREATHE! LOLOLOOLOLOLOLOL!

**Finn Hudson: **HAHAHAHAHAHA I feel so much better about my dancing now.

**Blaine Criss: ***pouts and gets out Ben and Jerry's ice cream*

**Puck: ***gets out a spoon and eats some of Blaine's ice cream*

**Blaine Criss: ***slaps Puck* that's MY ice cream!

**Wes Anderson: **No touching Blaine's ice cream.

**David Michaels: **Unless you want to be killed.

**Wes Anderson: **His love for ice cream is much better than that time he broke up with Logan.

**Wes Anderson: **SO MUCH EMO MUSIC AND DRAMATIC BROADWAY SONGS!

(**David Michaels **likes this)

**Blaine Criss: ***flicks Sharpie at Wes*

**Kurt Hummel: **And the Sharpie did just hit Wes. BTW, Blaine, I want some of that ice cream.

**Santana Lopez: **Waaaaannkkyyyy ;D

**Kurt Hummel: ***le sigh*

* * *

**Santana Lopez **And in my head I paint a picture….

(**New Directions, Puck, **and **11** other friends like this)

**Rachel Berry: **Stuck in your head?

**Santana Lopez: **Yup! And I'm rocking it out, bitch!

**Rachel Berry: **I don't like being referred to as a female dog.

**Santana Lopez: **Fine. And I am rocking it out Berry.

**Rachel Berry: **Much better :D

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **is dead.

**Santana Lopez: **RIP.

**Artie Abrams: **May she rest in peace.

**Finn Hudson: **She was a good friend, and a good girlfriend. Though, I paid for some baby stuff, and she never paid me back…

**Rachel Berry: **Her voice was sweet, but nothing compared to my vocal talent.

**Sam Evans: **She was my girlfriend and I love her.

**Brittany S. Pierce: **Her belly was big last year. And she was a lot meaner. I like the new Quinn.

**Kurt Hummel: **She was an enjoyable bitch. Now she's nicer. And quieter. Her fashion sense was simple and wholesome.

**Mercedes Jones: **She was my sister from another whole different set of parents.

**Mike Chang: **She was a good dancer.

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **I love the way she sings:)

**Puck: **HOLY SHIT YOU'RE KNOCKED UP AGAIN!

**Quinn Fabray: ***slaps Puck* No! I lost my Mom's necklace. I found it though. No guys, I'm not really dead. Thanks for all the concerns though! *glares at Puck*

**Santana Lopez: **You're not dead? Damn.

* * *

**Wes Anderson **I don't understand life!

**David Michaels: **Welcome to my life!

**Wes Anderson: **if this is your life, I want NO part of it!

(**Blaine Criss **and **Kurt Hummel **like this.)

* * *

**Blaine Criss **likes **Rent **a whole lot!

**Kurt Hummel: **Let's explain this. He likes Rent because he said I'd make a fabulous Angel.

**Blaine Criss: **To which he replied because he thought I was saying that because he was fabulously fashionable doesn't mean he'd just want to play Angel.

**Kurt Hummel: **To which Blaine replied that no, he thought the songs would suit my voice.

**Blaine Criss: **Then Kurt said I should be Mark. When I asked why he said that it was so I don't end up with anyone :(

**Kurt Hummel: **Also, because it means he dated a lesbian!

**Blaine Criss: **Which…I have….

**Wes Anderson: **It's cute how you all think we care!

**Puck: **YOU DATED A LESBIAN? Puckzilla bows to Blaine Criss.

(**Santana Lopez **likes this)

**Santana Lopez: **Can I bow down too Blaine ;D

**Kurt Hummel: **Umm…back off the boy is mine!

**Mercedes Jones: **Kurt, that's my song.

**Kurt Hummel: **:( But I wanna sing it!

**Santana Lopez: **Too bad. Mercedes and I rock it more than you will ever rock it!

**Blaine Criss: **Wanna bet on that, Santana?

**Santana Lopez: **Yes.

**Kurt Hummel: ***face palms* Why do I have a feeling this is going to be very competitive?

**Mercedes Jones: **Because it will be.

* * *

**Blaine Criss **posted a video.

**Santana Lopez: **0.O I think Wheezy and I lost.

**Mercedes Jones:** H-O-T!

**Kurt Hummel: **Poor WesXD

**Wes Anderson: **Why is it always meeee? D:

**David Michaels: **Cuz they like me more.

* * *

**Okay, well, this is an update. I had the urge to write for this today, and I did! Sorry for not updating as fast as I'd like too D: I'm becoming busier and buiser. It doesn't help that my friend and I are writing a Klaine story (which has taken over most of my free time. If you all would like to check it out, it's called _Shades of Swirling Hope _and it's up. It's under this account.) The beginging of this was written about three or four weeks ago, so I just needed to finish it. I tried to imagine Blaine dougging and I couldn't see it happening! But, anyways, if any of you all read Dalton by CP Coulter I accidently made a referance in here ^^ I didn't mean to, but it sorta happened. If you can see the referance, cookies to you!**

**I have recently made a tumblr, and if you'd like to check it out, it's called singforevermore (dot) tumblr (dot) com. So, ya know, you can ask questions and what not. **

**And really quickly: OHMIGOD I am blown away from th response I have gotten for this fic! I'm like dead from it, and HOLYGRILLEDCHEESUS! I'm just wow. No words. No words. **

**I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter! If I haven't said this, whenever I get a review it does make my day. Even though I can ask people I know about the stories, you all give really amazing feedback. So, keep it up!**

**Alright, sorry for not updating in forever. I shall work on that. I swear I will. It's been too long for my liking to not update. **

**-Madi**


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